After
years of waiting patiently for a message, some sign of
life from space, that day finally arrived. But first,
they had to accept the long distance charges, which were
substantial.
"We
don't mind picking up the toll," says one scientist, "though
after learning the cost of the call, we're taking a second
look at our federal budget request. We're glad to hear
from them, but we hope they don't call too often."
When
asked about the content of the message, scientists were
hesitant to go into details. The official word from S.E.T.I.
is that communication was "a mix of alpha and numeric
code, which their scientists were quickly able to decode."
We
at Wacky Times dug a little further and, using our own
decryption system, were able to decipher the message,
which began: "Who do you use for long distance?" Following
that introductory inquiry was a long, irritating sales
pitch. S.E.T.I. officials even tried to hang up, but the
intergalactic telemarketer was persistent–and eventually
succeeded in switching the entire research operation from
MCI to Sprint.
We would like to retract everything we say in the Wacky Times.
To
complain, write your congressmen (as if they would care).
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