"Hey,
Mom! Slow down, we're coming up on the toastem pop-ups!"
Tired
of waiting for a place to park in the supermarket lot
just to enter a crowded store where you stand in line
again to check out? If so, you'll love the new drive-through
grocer.
A number of major chains have combined forces to test
this new style of supermarket.
"I love it," says one driver. "I can pick up milk and
eggs and chips and be back on the highway in minutes.
My only suggestion is that they add a passing lane.
There's nothing worse than getting stuck behind a cost-conscious
shopper who double-parks at every brand to compare prices."
The
store manager admits they're still working out some
of the bugs in the business model. "There have been
a few fender benders. Nothing major–until the meat
department made the mistake of holding that big Fourth
of July sale on top sirloins. There were at least six
collisions that day."
"And
of course you have the teen pranksters who drive down
the aisle with their hand out, knocking down the pickle
jars," adds the manager. "One time a kid tried that
in the corn oil section and we had vehicles spinning
out all over the place."
You
can also choose to shop the old fashioned way--as a
pedestrian--but you take your life in your hands. One
shopper remarks, "I ran in to grab a six-pack of Bud
and found myself dodging two Suburbans and a Porsche.
I was lucky to get out alive."
The
store's security guard has other concerns. "Shoplifting
has been a problem–especially when it comes to
minivans with tinted windows. They can hide a heck of
a lot of groceries in the backs of those things.
In
an attempt to reduce the recklessness of shoppers, the
management has begun to cite motorists for speeding.
"If they're hurrying a bit out in the frozen foods section,
we might be lenient with them. But if they're doing
fifty miles an hour in the popular dairy section, we'll
write 'em up."
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