Citing
Americans' increasing desire for comfort and roominess,
a new line of luxury Sport Utility Vehicles has been introduced.
The
first of the new vehicles, called the Exterminator, features
three
bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths and a fully equipped kitchen. The
deluxe XL models also include a bonus room, which can
be used as a fourth bedroom, den or office.
One
dealer was excited about the new lines. "Consumers
have been moving toward this for some time. First it was
car radios. Then car phones. Now it's washers and dryers."
The advertising slogan for the new, oversized vehicles:
"You've never felt so at home on the road."
Not
everyone is pleased with the new trend. Some drivers argue
that the vehicles are environmentally irresponsible. "Those
monsters burn a half a mile to the gallon. Just so some
yuppie can say he's got room in the back for a billiards
game."
The
National Highway Traffic Safety Association also has concerns
about the new vehicle size. "In initial tests, economy
cars have fared poorly in collisions with these SUVs.
One Geo ended up in the larger vehicle's dining room.
Not only was the driver of the smaller car injured, but
he also disrupted a rather expansive dinner party."
In
spite of objections, the new vehicles look like they're
here to stay. Sales are brisk, especially among families
with concern for child safety. One mother puts it this
way: "I just feel better having that hallway and
extra bedroom between my child and the car next to us."
We would like to retract everything we say in the Wacky Times.
To
complain, write your congressmen (as if they would care).
No part may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher,
who isn't likely to grant that permission without some pretty
big incentive. To secure permission send a suitcase of cash
to the publisher. The publisher assumes no responsibility
for unsolicited material.
