The
success of CBS's new reality series, "Survivor,"
has other network executives scrambling to copy
the program's success. Here are some of the new
shows other networks have in the works for next
year:
E-Channel's
Hot Tourist Island SURVIVOR!
Sixteen young men and women, tanned, oiled and
clad only in skimpy native skins, must survive
the wild nightlife of a popular Jamaican singles
resort. Each member is forced to endure non-stop
beach-bar happy hours, volleyball competitions,
and bad Jimmy Cliff music imitations.
Then,
at the end of each week's episode, the show's
host, an unemployed disk jockey from Miami, asks
each team member to cast a vote to determine which
one of them will be sent off the island. Whichever
members are actually able to legibly write out
their vote are immediately removed from the island--since
they're obviously not partying hard enough to
be a true tourist resort SURVIVOR.
•••••
ABC's
Studio Audience SURVIVOR!
During
the shooting of the network's popular game show,
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire," additional cameras
are turned on members of the studio audience--who
are asked to remain seated and attentive through
interminable lighting effects and inane multiple
choice questions like: Mary had a little... a)
lamb b) pork c) beef d) eating disorder.
Audience
members who are able to sit still through an entire
hour of such nonsense without groaning, shaking
their heads or pulling out their hair receive
one million dollars. So far only two audience
members have succeeded. One turned out to be in
a coma. The other explained his technique: "I
went to a hypnotist before the show and he made
me believe I was stranded on a island, starving
and being eaten alive by snakes and poisoned by
scorpions. So I had it much easier than the others
there who were stuck listening to Regis."
•••••
CSPAN's
Congressional SURVIVOR!
Two
committees of U.S. congressional representatives
and senators are left stranded on a deserted island.
Each week they are instructed to vote one of their
members off the island. But the show is running
into problems. After surviving on the island for
fifteen weeks, the elected representatives have
yet to come to agreement on how such a vote should
be held.
"Endless
speeches and filibustering have made for some
pretty boring episodes," says one of the show's
producers. "The only excitement we get is when
two or three of them battle to get before the
cameras. That's when we see some real bloodshed."
The
only elections the congressmen have been able
to hold so far are six votes to increase the show's
budget.
