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O. J. Simpson Jury Speaks Out On World Issues

March 29, 2016

 

The jury in the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, which received unprecedented media attention when it rendered its controversial not-guilty decision, says it is now available to be heard on other important issues.

 

Many followers of the trial thought the decision revealed a lack of analytical thinking of the participants. but a leading Hollywood agent says TV ratings don't lie: "People want to hear what this jury has to say."

 

So the panel has reconvened to discuss a variety of other controversial topics:

 

 

On the greenhouse effect and its relationship to global warming:
 

"We weren't able to vote on that. Most of us have tan houses or white ones."

 

 

• On an open U.S. border policy:


"It's okay. We think Americans should be able to come and go as we please."

 

 

• On evolution vs creationism: 


"We've carefully weighed all the scientific evidence individually and as a group but still aren't convinced." "About which theory?" we asked. "Neither one of them. It's just too complicated."

 

 

• On the validity of the alien autopsy: 

 

"We think anyone in this country should be entitled to all medical procedures."

 

 

• On prayer in public schools:


"Of course we're for it. It wasn't against the law when we went to school or none of us would have graduated. Heck, we were all praying during finals."

 

 

• On the upcoming presidential race: 

 

"We don't think race should be an issue."

 

 

• On the question of late term abortions:


"We think the older a student is the better her judgment will be about these things."

 

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