RETRACTIONS (A Regular Feature):

We would like to retract everything we say in the Wacky Times.

To complain, write your congressmen (as if they would care). No part may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher, who isn't likely to grant that permission without some pretty big incentive. To secure permission send a suitcase of cash to the publisher. The publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material.

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Comedy Website Possible Takeover Target

May 16, 2016

 

With growing consolidation among the media in the last decade, it’s no surprise that another online enterprise may be a merge or takeover target by some of the major media conglomerates.

 

WackyTimes.com, with its highly devoted and unusually gullible readership, has long been considered by pundits as one of the more attractive takeover targets.

 

“They’ve got the lock on undiscriminating readers,” explains economics and ergonomics professor, Stanford Harvard Loop. “Nowhere on the web can you find so many people who understand so little.”

Founder of the site and majority stockholder, Mickey Loop, is expected to become a billionaire if the stock value skyrockets as some speculate it will, assuming serious interest becomes evident from major players like Time-Warner, Fox Media, Yahoo, Google or Microsoft.

 

“That’s a doubtful scenario,” says one skeptical stock analyst. “The company has no stock at all right now, and no one in their right mind would want to own it.”

 

The source of the takeover rumors, it has been surmised, may be the Wacky Times website itself, which first broke the story.

 

Other stories on the site include an investigative report on cosmetic surgery for pets, pets that are not only adorned in outrageous gems, but their owners are taking steps to enhance their pets vanity, physically. Three-bedroom SUVs, and a rehab facility for kids who grow up hooked on phonics.

 

 

 

RETRACTIONS (A Regular Feature):

We would like to retract everything we say in the Wacky Times.

To complain, write your congressmen (as if they would care). No part may be reproduced without the permission of the publisher, who isn't likely to grant that permission without some pretty big incentive. To secure permission send a suitcase of cash to the publisher. The publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material.

 

 

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