Survivor Spin-Offs - Overrated - Overdone - Overblown
The success of CBS's reality series, "Survivor," has other network executives scrambling to copy the program's success.
Here are some of the new shows other networks have in the works for next year:
E-Channel's Hot Tourist Island SURVIVOR!
Sixteen young men and women, tanned, oiled and clad only in skimpy native skins, must survive the wild nightlife of a popular Jamaican singles resort. Each member is forced to endure non-stop beach-bar happy hours, volleyball competitions, and bad Jimmy Cliff music imitations.
Then, at the end of each week's episode, the show's host, an unemployed disk jockey from Miami, asks each team member to cast a vote to determine which one of them will be sent off the island. Whichever members are actually able to legibly write out their vote are immediately removed from the island--since they're obviously not partying hard enough to be a true tourist resort SURVIVOR.
ABC's Studio Audience SURVIVOR!
During the shooting of the network's popular game show, "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire," additional cameras are turned on members of the studio audience--who are asked to remain seated and attentive through interminable lighting effects and inane multiple choice questions like: Mary had a little... a) lamb b) pork c) beef d) eating disorder.
Audience members who are able to sit still through an entire hour of such nonsense without groaning, shaking their heads or pulling out their hair receive one million dollars. So far only two audience members have succeeded. One turned out to be in a coma. The other explained his technique: "I went to a hypnotist before the show and he made me believe I was stranded on a island, starving and being eaten alive by snakes and poisoned by scorpions. So I had it much easier than the others there who were stuck listening to Regis."
CSPAN's Congressional SURVIVOR!
Two committees of U.S. congressional representatives and senators are left stranded on a deserted island. Each week they are instructed to vote one of their members off the island. But the show is running into problems. After surviving on the island for fifteen weeks, the elected representatives have yet to come to agreement on how such a vote should be held.
"Endless speeches and filibustering have made for some pretty boring episodes," says one of the show's producers. "The only excitement we get is when two or three of them battle to get before the cameras. That's when we see some real bloodshed."
The only elections the congressmen have been able to hold so far are six votes to increase the show's budget.
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